It is finished...

hhhmmm...those words. so interesting in my life. I sit and reflect on the day of yester....remembering and believing in a love so much greater than I could ever understand. so much bigger than I can wrap my fingers and mind around. I really like things that I can hold. I really like wrapping my head around something and sinking my teeth in. But I've very much come to realize that this is a love much more powerful than I can begin to hope for understanding about.

but today, I moved on. I had bigger things to think about - my life. so big, I know. I fluttered around like the proverbial headless chicken. I was both wishy and washy and almost lost my stomach on multiple occasions. and I did it. the moment I had been dreading and anticipating and staying awake for and ripping my hair out for...it came.

it went.

its over.

and then I sat here on my couch, I patted myself on the back, I put my feet up on the coffee table. I checked my fbook with a smug satisfaction that I wasn't using it to avoid the bigger problem and more urgent need. I sighed and said to myself...

it is finished.

it took me a moment to catch myself. it took longer than I care to admit to connect it. and oh the irony of yesterday when I did! oh, how very insignificant my moment became! how little my life is was suddenly so very clear.

my focus in question, my priorities askew...deep breath. deep breath.

and then it hit me. I was sitting here thinking "now what" about my life....where do I go from here? it was so simple to question....so much has led up to this point...now I have to look beyond. and that's scary. because it is finished doesn't mean its over.

and did it ever? certainly that's not what He meant when He uttered it.

because that's where it all began.

it wasn't finished. the story - my story, your story, the BIG story...it began when everyone thought it was all over.

sigh.

I'm really grateful, really hopeful, in the endings. at least for this moment. because one thing ending means another must begin. the story goes on, always and forever. it is finished means we get another chapter.

I can't wait.