pavings

sometimes, I have really good intentions.

really, nothing more. I don't know what I want, I don't know what you need. I make no pretense that I understand any of it. I just really want to try.

I'm not always trouble, you know? I'm not always a great big ball of hurt.

I'm sorry. I honestly am. I'm sorry if I lead you to believe something different - that I was different, that we were different, that what we had was...different.

It was. I guess I'm just always wearing glasses of a varying hue. I am not a big fan of the black and white. I'm not sure it exists, really. Not the way you see it.

You know, I'm thinking about running away again? But this time, I really think it's running in the right direction. I have to go, you know that. I have to go and be and discover and live. Live my life. Not the one that was laid out like itchy church clothes for me.

I think I have been cut from a very different cloth. That's not a bad thing, is it?

Speaking of cloth, the amount I have been sewing is a blissful distraction. And I am sketching so much more than my 45hr/week schedule lets me actually create. But there is relief in the inspiration.

I need to start doing something that makes me live a bit more.

A lot like love...but more just like living. I'm okay with that one.