And Back Again...

So I didn't get around to writing this on Saturday, cuz I was basically gone all day (and got back in at like 3:00 am - ugh) and then yesterday we were gone most of the day too. It was a busy weekend. A great one, but busy.

This is one of those things that I don't really know how to announce. So I figure, heck, I guess I just start announcing it wherever/however!

First let me say - this last year has been a whirlwind, but it has been wonderful. Nothing can take from me the fact that we DID IT. Packed up and moved across the country, wind through the windows, eyes looking for we knew not what. It was a successful year. The experiences I have had, and memories I have made, the sheer fact of growing up and being a grown up in a big new city - I will always have this. I will tell my children and grandchildren.

But, in looking ahead, in figuring out the what nexts, in weighing, and praying, and searching...I wasn't sure if it was the place I wanted to be. I think you have to have big reasons to be in a place, and I wasn't sure I had them for DC. Career-wise, it wasn't necessarily the place I need to be, and I don't feel like I have made connections that necessitate that I stay. I love this city, but that doesn't make it right for me.

Here are some of the things I weighed as I made this decision:

One of the things that I considered, as serious or dry as it may seem, was the importance, for me, to get myself out of debt. I have student loans, and honestly, the idea of living in a place where I could get out from them twice as fast was a real draw. I want the freedom in five years to live without debt. While I was making ends meet here, I wasn't putting any more than minimum into that pursuit. It will be nice to have a little more wiggle room - the freedom to visit my friends and do interesting things.

Another factor for me was theatre. As much as I love it, and DC has great theatre to be seen, I know that full-time acting isn't really what I want in my life, at least not now. I don't want it to be my full-time pursuit. But there aren't a lot of smaller theatres in DC - it seems like a lot of Equity or company things, which I can't pursue part-time. I want to be in a place where I can, perhaps, do some things, in conjunction with other angles of my life that I want to pursue.

Probably the biggest factor I thought about was my distance from my family. This was a more surprising element of my struggle, as I have always been quite independent. But I pondered on the fact that I haven't spent more than 8 days at a stretch in the same town as my family since I headed off to college. I don't really KNOW them as an adult. And that wasn't something I liked. My sister, my only sibling, will be getting engaged sometime in the nearish future. And the thought of missing out on a lot of that broke my heart. I knew it was something I would regret.

I feel like family is the most important thing in the world. So unless you have a darn good reason to be apart, which I understand (and will still look into) you should try to be near to them. At least, that's how I see it for me. That my reasons for being so far away weren't really measuring up.

If you haven't figured it out already, I am moving back to Texas. I am interested in what you think of my decision, but know that I am really happy. That I have a lot of peace and joy about this decision. That I'm not doing it because I don't know what else to do, but because I have tried to look at all the angles and options and this is the one that I genuinely think is the best for me.

I am not saying I'm staying forever, because I can't. I can't begin to imagine where the road will take my and I'm not going to try to plan for it. I don't have a 5 and 10 year plan. I'm just following the road where it takes me, trying to keep my eyes above me and hoping to have hands to hold along the way. It's funny to find out where your heart really is. I didn't know how much I loved Texas until I left it behind. But this Texas girl is coming home...at least for now:)