Fast Update...get it?

So today is day eight of my no sweets or booze fast. It's getting a little rough y'all. I've been doing pretty well, actually, in a pleasantly surprising plot twist. But there are times when a girl needs chocolate, you know? Yeah. Such a bummer.

But the end is in sight and Sunday will be filled with chocolate and lots and lots of wine. We're going to a HUGE wine festival - it's also a polo festival? The beginning of spring polo matches. So apparently you get all hoity-toity dressed up and go to the festival, lush it up, and watch polo. And, as a big hat kinda gal, I am so into this. It is going to be great. I don't remember how many vineyards are going to be represented, but there are a stinking lot in Virginia, and this is one of the biggest wine festivals of the year, so I imagine a lot. I do know the total number of wines there will be to try - 250. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY. It will be tough. I know I will cut the whites out after the first few vineyards, or start only doing a very small taste and dumping the rest. I didn't use to be able to do that (dumping out wine seemed like a travesty) but the more I go to these things, the more ok I am with it. I never finish a tasting of something I don't really like or find uninteresting, even though it's only another sip. Because, let's face it - there are 249 other wines to try and see which I really like. It's really about trying as many as possible, so you can compare and learn about them all. Not drinking them all. It would be impossible. Well...a bad idea, at least.

I got off topic. I wanted to talk more about this fast. As hard as it has been at moments, it has really been a wonderful experience. One, I know my body appreciates the break I have given it, so that's a plus. But the main reward (and main reason) of doing to was the clarity it gave me. It really focused my attention on what I wanted to spend the week doing. Every time I wanted a piece of chocolate, or a glass of wine with dinner, or a drink with friends, I was reminded of why I chose to do this. It has been an enlightening week, just because I was forced to constantly revisit and ponder what I had set aside. I am not as stressed, I have a lot of peace, I have a lot of closure. This has been a miracle of a week, just in the acknowledgement of "I asked God to show up, I prayed for Him to show me what He wanted in this situation, and I am expecting and praising in advance that He is going to deliver." So in the circumstances of this week, since I KNOW God is faithful, I have been given an assurance that this is what He wants for me. Because I know He shows up when He is invited into our lives, I knew that there was going to be divine intervention in my thoughts, decisions, and life. So instead of saying "Gosh, I wonder if this is really what I'm supposed to be doing!" I could say "I KNOW this is what I'm supposed to be doing, because I asked God to show Himself in this situation, and I believe in His power and faithfulness to do so."

What a relief. That I don't have to micromanage my life. That He's got it under control. What a blessing.

Now this doesn't mean that, suddenly, I have the key to all the answers, that I can simply ask God to fix everything and do everything and I just get to sit back and relax and let it all happen. This fast has also taught me that I need to be proactive in my work to find God's plan for my life. I gave up some things that I constantly want, so I could be constantly reminded of my need for prayer and reflection. So I could be pushed to meditation on what God was working in my heart. You can't hear God's voice if you're not listening. It was simply a constant reminder that He is in control, and wants to help us out, but that we have to be active participants in this whole life thing.

Sorry to ramble. I am just feeling so blessed right now. I am seeing things very clearly, and I don't often get that feeling. I want to incorporate this practice into my life more - I think there is always something that we need to be praying about and working on, and this is a tool to help with that. So I am going to start doing this same fast once a month, for a Monday-Friday. Not as long as this one, but regular. Because I want to get into the practice of this petition, meditation, and focus. Maybe at some point, I won't have to deprive myself of chocolate and wine to get in the right mindset, but until then it's a worthwhile sacrifice....

I committed to a decision by Saturday night. And therefore, I won't say anything has been decided until then. Who knows what these next few days could hold, so I'm still keeping my ears and heart open, and praying. But expect an announcement on Saturday. Because God is working miracles, people. Even just in little 'ole me.